


Die hard with a vengeance

by NatalieRyan



Series: Whumptober 2020 [31]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Day 31, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Jack, Hurt Mac, Jack Whump, James MacGyver being an asshole, James MacGyver's A+ parenting, Lots of Angst, Mac Whump, Panic Attacks, Torture, Whipping, Whump, Whumptober 2020, non-sexual nudity, not James MacGyver friendly story, semi-graphic torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: And here we are some twenty-ish days past the 31st with the last Whumptober fic.I suspect that today's notes will be long (aren't they always?). But since there's a few things I like to address then that's how it'll be.First and foremost, while it's not as dark as the day 24 story, this one deals with a fair bit of non-sexual nudity, and it involves naked Jack for the purpose of the torture. Hence the M rating. The torture in itself it's semi-graphic, but if that's a squick, don't read this fic. You've been warned!Second, Mac is whipped. If that's another thing that you are not comfortable with, then this is not the fic for you. Second warning.Third: There's a scene where Jack is forced to watch Mac being tortured, and he has to count the lashes. If that ain't your cup of tea as well, then don't read.Fourth. I mentioned a wolf and paperclip tattoo on Jack's thigh in one of the scenes. It came up totally accidental and I decided to run with the idea, because I love the idea of Jack having a tattoo, and a meaningful one at that. And my headcanon is that Mac accompanied Jack when he had it done. Thanks thistle for the suggestion to make it be on Jack's thigh.Hmm... Anything else? Oh, yes. It's Kovacs that kidnaps Mac and already had Jack into captivity when the fic kicked off, so take this as another story in the Jack comes back setting where it's totally unexpected and with the twist of events. Also James is the typical asshole as he always is and there is a moment where he gets punched (one more thing I'll never get tired of writing).Thank you SabbyStarlight for all the help on my Whumptober fics, for cheering me on, listening to me ramble as I was writing them and for the lovely suggestion for a moment between the boys I ended up using. Boy, the angst was strong in our talk about this story.Thistle, you know how much I love and value you and your input. The same wavelength we are on is honestly one of the things that made it possible for me to complete this story and all the other ones. Our talks and your little suggestions and the nods to both you and me, it's one of the best things. Thank you for reading through and betaing each and every story, for the patience you had when I was simply stuck. For just being there. You are honestly a Godsend and I'm glad we met (not just because of the fics).P. S. Title is taken from the third Die Hard movie.P. S. 2. There are some lyrics from “Numb” by Linkin Park I used throughout the text in the last bits because I couldn’t not after Thistle shared the thought of the lyrics being very Mac to James.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Die hard with a vengeance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [N1ghtshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts), [SabbyStarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabbyStarlight/gifts).



> And here we are some twenty-ish days past the 31st with the last Whumptober fic.   
> I suspect that today's notes will be long (aren't they always?). But since there's a few things I like to address then that's how it'll be.   
> First and foremost, while it's not as dark as the day 24 story, this one deals with a fair bit of non-sexual nudity, and it involves naked Jack for the purpose of the torture. Hence the M rating. The torture in itself it's semi-graphic, but if that's a squick, don't read this fic. You've been warned!   
> Second, Mac is whipped. If that's another thing that you are not comfortable with, then this is not the fic for you. Second warning.   
> Third: There's a scene where Jack is forced to watch Mac being tortured, and he has to count the lashes. If that ain't your cup of tea as well, then don't read.   
> Fourth. I mentioned a wolf and paperclip tattoo on Jack's thigh in one of the scenes. It came up totally accidental and I decided to run with the idea, because I love the idea of Jack having a tattoo, and a meaningful one at that. And my headcanon is that Mac accompanied Jack when he had it done. Thanks thistle for the suggestion to make it be on Jack's thigh.   
> Hmm... Anything else? Oh, yes. It's Kovacs that kidnaps Mac and already had Jack into captivity when the fic kicked off, so take this as another story in the Jack comes back setting where it's totally unexpected and with the twist of events. Also James is the typical asshole as he always is and there is a moment where he gets punched (one more thing I'll never get tired of writing).   
> Thank you SabbyStarlight for all the help on my Whumptober fics, for cheering me on, listening to me ramble as I was writing them and for the lovely suggestion for a moment between the boys I ended up using. Boy, the angst was strong in our talk about this story.   
> Thistle, you know how much I love and value you and your input. The same wavelength we are on is honestly one of the things that made it possible for me to complete this story and all the other ones. Our talks and your little suggestions and the nods to both you and me, it's one of the best things. Thank you for reading through and betaing each and every story, for the patience you had when I was simply stuck. For just being there. You are honestly a Godsend and I'm glad we met (not just because of the fics).   
> P. S. Title is taken from the third Die Hard movie.   
> P. S. 2. There are some lyrics from “Numb” by Linkin Park I used throughout the text in the last bits because I couldn’t not after Thistle shared the thought of the lyrics being very Mac to James.

**_“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”_ **

**_-Khalil Gibran_ **

Mac was running in one moment and in the next something touched his neck and he crumpled on the ground. He had half a thought to realize that he was possibly drugged, maybe poisoned, before darkness claimed him. 

He couldn't tell how long it passed since that happened, but when he woke up it was to a dark, damp room, and he was stripped naked to his waist, his shoes and socks were gone, and he was shackled to the wall, the chains rattling when Mac tried to move his wrists. 

Mac blinked to clear the blurred curtain in front of his eyes, and took in his surroundings. There was a small window in the top right corner that told Mac it was still daylight outside, but based on the shade it threw on the floor, it was getting dark. The window was too far for Mac to reach even if he had eventually found a way to escape; and too small to support even Mac's slender body through it.

The floor was concrete, cold and damp, the smell moldy and something distinct Mac's nose couldn't quite figure out. Something oily, like diesel fuel and leather, but Mac couldn't pinpoint the exact smell, combined with the sweat on his body that since long dried from his run this morning (Mac was hoping it was the same day), and the coppery scent of blood meaning he was either bleeding, or there was someone before Mac that did and the smell of blood was leftover from them. 

Mac cracked his neck from side to side, he ended up with a crick in his neck from the position he was in before waking up. Taking stock of his body in his head, Mac was glad that his only painful place was the neck, and a mild headache that was lingering. But only just. 

There was a loud thump on the outside and then the door to the room was opened. Mac could see it was a reinforced steel door. 

There were two heavily armed guys entering the room. One of them carried a bottle of water and the other one closed the door and stayed right in front of it. 

Now, if Mac didn't know better, he would have thought that these guys were cautious, and that meant they waited for Mac to make his move. Typical behavior of people that captured other people, giving their captives the “opportunity” to escape and then hunt them down, take them back and hurt them. Although, if Mac had to guess, they most probably knew who he was, hence the shackles and the guard at the door. 

The thought of someone knowing his identity and kidnapping him on purpose unsettled Mac and he was unable to prevent the full body flinch when the guy with the water bottle approached him. 

Mac was thirsty, that much he could tell, but he didn't know what was their game with the water. It could be torturing him with the thought he could have the water, but he wouldn't get it, as a punishment. Mac could think of that one time he did something similar to Mason. Maybe this was karma, a payback. But Mac didn't capture Mason to torture him, he was just trying to ruffle Mason's feathers, make him feel uneasy about what he did and what could happen. 

The man uncapped the bottle and crouched in front of Mac. He brought the bottle close to Mac's lips. 

“Drink!” he ordered. 

Mac looked from the man to the bottle and back. He was suspicious. Why were they giving him water if they were going to torture him or kill him? And what if the water was drugged or poisoned? 

“Drink, I said. My boss left me with specific instructions. Drink the water.” 

After Mac didn't move to drink from the water, the man's big hand came behind Mac's neck, tugged at his hair and Mac screamed as his neck was jostled. He felt water trickle around his lips and down his chin as it was poured into his mouth. 

Mac felt like he was waterboarded, but this time the water was clean and there was no rag. Still, it was suffocating as the water filled his throat and it was coming faster than Mac could swallow. 

Thankfully, it was over soon and once the guy released Mac's hair, Mac leaned forward and coughed, trying to take a breath without his lungs burning and screaming in protest. 

The man produced another bottle and Mac wanted to scream. Just before the procedure was repeated, Mac caved in. If the water was drugged or poisoned, there was no way of delaying the inevitable, he might as well take all the fluids he could. 

Mac willingly drank the second bottle and afterwards, the guy picked up the bottles and left Mac alone, the other guy following behind the first and locking the door. 

It was humid and stifling hot in the room, and Mac could feel sweat run down his back and from his temple to his cheek. The heat was oppressive, and Mac leaned his head on the wall, trying to find some reprieve from the way he was feeling and how much he was hurting with his hands being all tied up. 

Suddenly there was a cold gust of wind blowing in the room and a loud whir, like the ventilation was being turned on.

Mac had a terrible realization that whoever kidnapped him, they had eyes on Mac and controlled a lot more than his intake of fluids. 

…

The guy was back with two more water bottles some couple of hours later, and Mac drank willingly. There was a repetition of the process of hot and cold and Mac was stuck between sweating a lot and then the sweat drying on his body and him shivering as the vent picked up pace and the room became gradually colder. 

And then, the third time the guards came back to where Mac was kept, they unlatched the shackles and they brought another pair with a chain on the back so Mac could be dragged. 

Mac shuddered. He didn't know what would happen to him and where he was being taken, but a feeling of dread settled deep inside him, his stomach churning with what was to follow. 

The ground was cold under Mac's feet, little stones and grime getting stuck on the underside. Mac could feel it digging into the soft flesh and it was painful when there was a small shard of glass Mac stepped on and it made his step falter. He was being tugged forcefully, Mac had no time to stop and take care of the offending piece of glass. 

After a few minutes of being led through corridors and halls, Mac was brought to a bigger room. He could tell it was an abandoned workshop, judging by the tools and things haphazardly left in the empty, large space. 

When he was brought to the middle of the room, Mac's arms were released from the shackles, and each wrist was looped through a rope and the rope was tightened in a circle. Mac moved his hands experimentally, but he couldn't move much without hurting himself. 

His legs were spread apart, and each foot was looped through another set of ropes and fastened. Mac's heart lodged itself in his throat. He turned around and saw two big posts where the ropes were secured. 

Mac could already feel the strain of the position he was in, his arms getting numb and his shoulders burning. He was aware of eyes on his back and chest and he felt sick just thinking of the looks that the guards were giving him. 

A door opened somewhere near and Mac heard grunting and growling. The voice sounded familiar, and Mac thought he was starting to lose his mind. It couldn't be. Right? This couldn't be the time when his wish was granted and in such a cruel way.

Mac was definitely going to be sick. 

The man that was dragged to the room was forcefully strapped to a metal chair. His hands were cuffed to the metal arms rests first with rope and later with duct tape, and even from here Mac could tell that they went overboard, but it must have been someone holding a grudge or worried the guy would escape. 

Mac could see that the man was naked, and the flinching as he was strapped to the chair and his legs were spread and the ankles got the same treatment as his wrists. Mac could tell that the guy was shivering, several cuts with various stages of healing on his body, maybe he was feverish. The man was surprisingly clean, but as Mac thought of that, a horrible idea formed in his head at the droplets of what Mac thought was sweat on his body. If it was water residue, that could mean only one thing. The guy was hosed down. It could explain why he was naked and shivering. 

Mac gulped. He didn't mean to stare, but after hearing the “familiar” sounds of distress Mac couldn't help but think. 

Mac's eyes were drawn to one of the cuts on the guy's thigh. It was long and thick, red trickling from it which told Mac that it was probably the latest wound inflicted. 

Mac's gaze strayed furthermore, and he hated to be the one staring, but there was something that caught Mac's attention. The tail end of ink in the corner of Mac's eye as the leg shifted. Mac desperately wished to have a free hand to rub his eyes. He couldn't have been seeing right. 

Because there, on the inner left thigh, the guy had a tattoo of a grey wolf with blue eyes, much like the shade of blue Mac's eyes were. And right under the wolf, there was a paperclip in the form of a bow tie around the wolf's neck. Mac had seen that exact design only once, and he was there when the tattoo was inked. 

One of the goons that brought the guy to the room pulled the hood off and his face was revealed. 

Mac bit his lip to prevent the scream that wanted to escape him. 

He wasn't losing his mind. The voice was indeed familiar. 

And the tattoo now made more sense. 

Because the man in the metal chair, positioned directly against Mac was Jack.

…

Jack thought that he was hallucinating. When he was dragged into the room and strapped to a metal chair that was like a hot brand on his cold skin, he couldn't see what was going on. But once the hood was pulled off, he could see and there in front of him was…  _ No way _ . 

Jack tried to fight the restraints, but he was tased for his efforts, the cattle prod making reappearance and as the electricity sizzled against his overly sensitive skin, Jack bit his lip. He didn't want to scream, give these bastards the satisfaction to hear the sounds of his pain. If it was another situation, he'd be exaggerating. But he was in Kovacs' clutches for well over a week now. He was starved, dehydrated, tortured for days on end and simply put, Jack was tired. The last person he expected to see in the room with him was Mac.

Mac stayed dutifully calm after seeing Jack shocked with the cattle prod, Jack was grateful that Mac recognized the silent request in Jack's eyes. It was the last thing Jack wanted to see - Mac being electrocuted as well. 

Jack could see the moment Mac tensed when footsteps started echoing through the space where they were kept. Jack recognized the gait, he spent years following and monitoring closely. Kovacs.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” that Eastern European accent grated on Jack's last nerves as Kovacs got impossibly closer to where Mac was tied up. 

Jack knew that if he said anything, Kovacs could hurt Mac so he stayed quiet, but he couldn't help himself from flinching at the thought of Kovacs' hands on Mac, or even breathing the same air together. This was like his worst nightmare coming true, the reason why he insisted Mac stay back home. 

He had no idea where they were, last Jack tracked Kovacs, he was close to his compound in Hungary, where Kovacs was from and ran his business originally before moving to the States all those years ago. But then, would Kovacs go to such length to kidnap Mac and transport him so far away from LA? 

(Assuming they were still in Hungary. Maybe he was the one transported with the help of Kovacs' private jet that the guy definitely didn't have last time). 

Jack stayed silent even as Kovacs' hand suddenly connected with Mac's face. Without realizing, Mac must have closed his eyes and one thing Kovacs hated was when he tortured his victims for them to lose consciousness or to avoid eye contact. Jack would know, he spent years studying him and following him around. Kovacs' methods were cruel and unrelenting, and sadly as of a while back, Jack knew how it felt on his own skin. That crawled as he watched Kovacs then gently tapping Mac's cheek to soothe the sting of the slap. 

Jack wanted to desperately close his eyes, the sight of Mac being touched by Kovacs was already turning his insides, but the fact that if he did that he might be contributing to his kid being hurt… Jack would take his chances and watch, live with the consequences and deal with them later. Compartmentalize. 

If they survived this that was. 

Mac was now looking at him and Jack wanted to desperately break free from his restraints and hug Mac. The kid looked so pale and skinny that Jack could see Mac's ribs protruding through the thin skin. Even in the badly lit room, Jack could see the dark smudges under Mac's eyes and the vacant look with which he regarded Jack. Like he didn't track well with his eyes, or even register that Jack was in the room. Or if he did and the recognition Jack saw in his eyes wasn't a recognition at all. Maybe Mac thought he made Jack up. 

Jack bit his lip. 

What had been happening while he was away? It had only been six months. It couldn't be that Mac would…

Jack suddenly wanted to throw up. He did this to Mac. He left and Mac started losing weight, probably wasn't sleeping either. He knew that Mac would take his leaving badly, it was one of the reasons why Jack wanted to tell James to shove it when Oversight cornered him with the mission. Seeing the strongest reason why Jack endured a little over 180 days away from home though… maybe it wasn't the best decision of his life, but if Jack knew it'd eventually lead to this, he would have made sure to kill Kovacs way before he got his hands on Mac. He should have been dead with the way Jack shot him precisely in the heart. It was a killshot. 

If there was a next time, Jack was going to aim for the head. It was either Kovacs or the innocent people he terrorized. And now he took Jack's kid and crossed all borders for Jack to show mercy. Jack just hoped Mac wasn't going to hate him. 

“What? No tears and shocked exclamations of surprise? This is the first time you see each other in what? Oh, yes, six months. I have to say I'm disappointed. I expected more of a raw reaction from you two. Perhaps I took the wrong person, huh, Jack?” 

It was a bit late for trying to school his features, Jack knew that. And if the way Kovacs talked about him and Mac was any indication, then there was no point in Jack masking his true feelings. He was made even before he was dragged into the room. 

Funny thing his brain did was to pull up a thing Cage told him right after the mission with the casino vault in Azerbaijan. He had tells when it came to Mac and the others, but mostly Mac. Jack was sort of creeped out, how well Cage read him with just analyzing his micro expressions, but read him nonetheless. It was unnerving. And he knew that he was probably too deep to change that part about himself. He could try if it was for a mission, just not for long. He couldn't bear the look in Mac's eyes when Jack had to claim he didn't know him or didn't care about who he was and what could be done to him. 

“I can see you thinking, Dalton. And let me tell you, I have heard you are a great spy. But I'm not sure I believe it.”

Jack stayed silent. 

Mac got slapped again. 

“You must be wondering why I have him as well. Angus MacGyver, Mac for short. He is clearly very important to you according to my source. In fact my source says that you two are practically inseparable.”

Jack tried hard not to glare, but he was failing. He was fuming on the inside, there was someone giving information on them feely. Someone that knew him. And possibly Mac. 

“Don't try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes. You care about him a lot, Dalton. I saw the pain in your eyes when you saw him like this. Isn't he pretty?” 

Jack wanted nothing more to be able to free himself and strangle Kovacs, consequences be damned, but a) he was pretty tightly strapped to the chair and b) Mac was in danger and Jack would rather suffer than bring the danger to Mac. 

“You know, I was also told you are what you Americans called, ah, a chatterbox. I have to say I wasn't aware that once I take the wind out of your sails you will transform into a mute.” 

“I don't speak unless I have something to say.” Jack's voice sounded raspy even to his own ears. Maybe it was from all the times he screamed as he was tortured and the pain was too much. He held on for Mac, Riley, Bozer. For everyone. And now it might not even matter because if Kovacs hurt Mac, or worse, if he killed Mac, then there was no need for Jack to hold on. 

“I somehow find that hard to believe, but I'll let you off the hook. For now.”

Kovacs came to the middle of the room, right between Mac and Jack. 

“You dismantled my organization. My business. You see, you took everything down when you and your friends tried to take me down last time we met. And I had no idea who you were then, but now I do, and my time has come to return the favor.” 

“Why are you doing this to him? It's me you want. Why?” 

“You wanna know why? Because one of those you and your team took down was my son. He was just like your Mac here, young and with a bright future in front of him. He was going to take over the business, be my replacement. He was my pride. And you took him away from me.” 

Jack was floored. They didn't get any information on any family member of Kovacs who was part of his organization, let alone a son. Either Kovacs was using an excuse to hurt Mac and Jack, or he was right and the CIA gave Jack and his strike team false intel. 

“I am telling the truth, Dalton, don't fret. Now you will see how it feels to watch someone you love like a son die slowly in front of your eyes. Just like my son was in agony for days before he drew his last breath.” 

“Our order was to take you down. I swear we didn't know anything about any son. I wouldn't… no matter what, I wouldn't do that.” 

“You were sent to kill me. What's to say you didn't do it on purpose. To draw me out.” 

“I had no idea until you said it now.” Jack sounded more and more desperate, but he couldn't help it. He would do everything to spare Mac from being hurt. 

“Like I said, I don't believe you. Your job is to be literally a liar, Dalton. What's to say you are not lying to me to get me away from Mac, hm? Besides, statistically it's more likely that you'd lie to protect him, and I'm willing to bet that you would do so. I won't keep either of you waiting to see what I have planned.”

Kovacs moved to the further corner from the room and rummaged through some things that clattered around when moved. 

Jack shuddered and closed his eyes, briefly. Swallowing around the bitter taste in his mouth, he desperately tried to chase away the thoughts of one of Kovacs' men jamming the cattle prod in his side. Or how the welding torch felt burning through his skin on his right side, right below his pec. It was too much and it left him gasping for breath and screaming so loud Jack was able to hear the sound of his own screams echoing in his ears. 

Jack opened his eyes as something crackled in the air, and his blood froze at the sound. 

Jack knew that sound all too well. He grew up on a ranch, he saw his mom and dad using it on cattle and other livestock. There were several types, but this one was the most common. Jack was far too young to remember that, his mom always told that story at family gatherings, but the scar Jack had had on his right forearm was from trying to wrangle some livestock while still learning, and caught himself good with the whip. 

Kovacs approached him as he cracked the bullwhip, the sound of swishing leather and the sickening pop when the whip stood still gave Jack the chills. Jack remembered that after that incident, his father told him that he shouldn't have been using the bullwhip on the cattle and that the scar would remind him of what transpired. He still had the reminder, but mostly the scar had paled to a thin white line that was barely visible unless you were looking specifically for it. 

The whip was a quality one. Jack could recognize that, and that gave him an uneasy feeling. It was true that no matter the quality, the whip could do a lot of damage. And if Jack had to guess, the better the whip, the tighter the grip and swing. If Kovacs knew how to use it, it could do a lot of damage on Mac. 

Jack wanted to scream. 

“I see you recognize this. I assume your boy does, too. He has spent time on your ranch, right? Now you are wondering where do I know that… a man of many talents, if you will.” 

The smile on Kovacs' face was menacing and full of threats. Jack felt dread at the prospect of what was to follow. 

“What do you say, Mac? Or should I say Angus?” 

Mac raised his head and squinted at Kovacs, glaring despite the way he must have been hurting. 

“Fuck you.” Mac spat the words and Jack felt so proud of his kid. 

He didn't like the look on Kovacs' face when Mac said that; it was a touch too predatory, too focused on taking Mac in. Like Kovacs was trying to measure up Mac with his laser-like sharp focus and strip him fully naked just with the power of his gaze. 

“Mmm, that can be arranged. If you are still up for it after what I'm going to do to you.” 

“Oh, you sick bastard-” Jack didn't get to finish the sentence before he was backhanded, hard. He saw stars and as he tried to shake the flashes in front of his eyes whenever he blinked, someone came into his personal space and tugged him by his hair. 

It was longer than Jack had ever worn it before and perfect length for someone to grab it and the movement pulled at his already sore neck and he yelped. 

Kovacs was in his face, sneering and watching him with an angry look. 

Then one of Kovacs' hands came up around Jack's throat and he squeezed. Jack couldn't breathe. 

“If you are not careful, I might just turn to you. And I won't be gentle, Dalton.” there was something deadly cold and determined in Kovacs' words that scared Jack to his core. 

“Because I could absolutely do that.” 

Jack didn't like what Kovacs was insinuating, but if it came to that or Mac, he would choose that without question. 

“Just, leave him alone.” the hand on his throat felt so oppressive, Jack could barely suck in a breath.

“I will. After I'm done with what I have planned. Now as much fun as taking my sweet time devouring him would be, I have other things in mind… and you will help me out with math related questions.” 

Kovacs squeezed harder and Jack could feel the black spots dancing in front of his eyes, again. 

“I am going to whip that boy of yours, and you are going to count. I'm feeling generous, so I'll stop at thirty. Sounds like a good number. What do you think?” 

Jack struggled to take a proper breath. He wanted to scream and beg and ten thousand other things, but all he could see was Mac hanging by his hands and the thought of his kid being whipped while Jack watched brought him to tears. 

A tear slipped down his cheek and Kovacs chuckled coldly. 

“Don't cry, Jack. The alternative will be much worse, I can tell you that the alternative would be worse, so what's it gonna be?” 

Jack tried to glare, but between Kovacs choking him and the threat hanging around in the air, there was nothing much to contribute to his decision. They were screwed either way. Jack looked to the side and Mac looked at him, begging with his eyes for Jack to just say yes to what Kovacs was suggesting. Jack's heart seized at the way Mac just looked at him, with reverence and trust. It was as if there weren't six months between the last day they saw each other and now, both being trapped in the clutches of this psycho that wanted to carry his own twisted version of vengeance for his son's death. 

It was scary how much Jack couldn't deny things when Mac asked for or begged Jack to say yes or help him out. It was Jack's ultimate undoing and Jack found himself nodding, Kovacs' hand still constricting his air. 

“Good boy.” Kovacs released Jack's throat and Jack found himself coughing and gasping to suck air in his lungs. His lungs were burning and it took him a couple of minutes to stop gasping like a fish out of water before he was more or less okay. Although the sensation of hands around his neck didn't abate. 

Meanwhile Kovacs had picked up the whip again and was cracking it, the sickening whoosh as the thong was waved around and the clomp/pop sound as it touched ground was even more ominous. 

The length of the whip was at around four feet and Jack cringed. Most whips were at three feet. The longer the whip the more unsteady it could be if not handled correctly and the damage…

Jack gulped. He didn't want to think of the damage. 

“Count!” 

Jack looked at Mac in that moment. Mac nodded and then squared himself as much as he could in the position he was in. 

Mac was mouthing “it's okay”. 

Jack felt so far from okay he could tell okay wasn't even in the same airspace with them. 

Jack took a deep breath. 

“One.” 

The crack of whip on skin was sickening and the fact that it was Mac's skin made things ten times worse. Jack forced himself to watch. 

“Two.” Another crack. 

“Three.” 

...

“Five.”

Mac was panting with exertion. 

…

“Ten.” 

There was blood at the tail end of the whip now and Jack was crying. Not that he was just forced to watch his kid getting hurt, he was indirectly the reason for it. He didn't feel like he deserved the tears or to cry when he wasn't the one who was being whipped, but he couldn't stop. 

…

“Fifteen.” 

Mac's eyes were glassy and unfocused, but he still hadn't made a sound. Jack begged him with his eyes to let it out. To scream, and yell and just not be the stoic martyr like he always was. Jack liked to use that tactic, scream and beg even when he could take the pain. It made their torturers think they had the upper hand when it was the other way around. All they needed was a paper clip or Mac's SAK or anything else from the room they could use to their advantage. 

There was no such thing now, they were both in a situation where they would have been killed if they even tried to escape. Not that Jack would risk Mac with trying anything while Mac was in a position to be killed because Jack tried something stupid. 

…

“Twenty.” 

Did the Phoenix know Mac was missing? That he was kidnapped? How did it happen? Were they looking for Mac? Jack knew that they wouldn't know about him, he wasn't exactly top priority right now. Jack hated to think about that, but he was sure James would get one look at his MIA after action report and assume he was killed. For all that Jack knew, he was probably pronounced KIA after a few days. He was all alone and without help coming his way. 

Jack was brought out of his thoughts with Mac yelping. 

_ Figures the self sacrificing idiot would only let himself show vulnerability after the twentieth strike.  _

“Count, Dalton! Don't stop now. We are so close.” 

Jack looked defiant, but he was sure it didn't look so confident because of the tears. But Jack didn't care. 

“Twenty-one.”

…

“Thirty.” 

Mac was screaming now, a blood curdling sound Jack had never heard before and never wanted to hear again. He was sure it would plague his nightmares to come, again, if they by some miracle survived this. 

Jack wanted to cry with relief once the countdown was over, but the evil glint in Kovacs' eyes told him that wasn't the case. 

When the whip crackled on Mac's skin again, but this time on the front, Jack screamed together with Mac. 

“Stop! What are you doing? You said thirty…” 

Kovacs cackled like a madman and striked Mac's skin again. 

“Thirty on the back. Didn't say anything about the front, right?” 

“Please, don't do this.” 

“You think begging me is going to change the fact that I am the guy with the whip here, Dalton? I don't think so.” 

There were few more lashes before Kovacs stopped. Ten in total, Jack counted, even though this time he wasn't forced to do it. He counted it as a personal punishment for failing his kid. 

“Don't worry, I didn't hurt him more than necessary. I need him, and much to my dismay, you, alive. These lashes were enough to scar, not enough to kill. I did my homework, I know how dangerous it is to whip someone across their chest.” 

In a twisted sense of relief, Jack was glad for that, because he didn't know if he would have been able to survive if Kovacs hurt Mac worse. 

“You seem pleased. Almost grateful. Interesting. Maybe I should whip you next, see how you take it.” 

Jack felt himself growling. 

“Bring it on.” 

“Not yet. Your time will come, too, don't worry.” 

Jack watched in horror as Kovacs' men unstrapped Mac from the metal posts and dragged him away, presumably back to his cell. Jack didn't know what hurt more, watching Mac being dragged away, or not being with him. 

“Now, shall we?” 

Kovacs was suddenly in front of him and Jack knew it was his turn. The same old thing every day. Jack sighed. He accepted his faith. He just hoped someone would come and the kid would be saved. If Jack had to watch Kovacs hurt him again, he wasn't sure he was going to just take it. He couldn't risk getting himself hurt in the proces, hindering Mac's chances to escape in the process. 

Maybe that hit in the head scrambled his brain worse than he thought. 

…

Mac could hear the screams from his cell. It wasn't far from the room where he was whipped despite what he thought before. He couldn't tell if he was concussed, but his perception center was off so that was probably the reason why he thought he was held further away. 

The screams were familiar, and Mac knew them all too well. They belonged to Jack. 

Logically Mac knew that Jack wanted their captors to think they'd broken them so he always went with the screams even when he wasn't hurting that much. But Mac knew. These screams were from pain and it was a testament to how long they probably kept Jack for Jack to scream like that. 

Mac's back was on fire. And Mac battled to stay conscious, to not succumb to sleep. He didn't want to fall asleep just to find himself on the dirty floor. He didn't want to let his wounds touch the floor. Who knew what was on it, and if the wounds got infected along the way, Mac preferred to not add more to the pain he would already feel. 

It was his first time being whipped on his front, though, and those hurt as well, just not as much as on his back. Mac guessed that Kovacs was right. The ones in the back were inflicted to cause Jack pain. Those on his front were to make a statement. 

After what Mac could tell was maybe an hour or so, the door to his cell was opened, and Jack was unceremoniously dropped on the floor. There was the tiniest grunt that left Jack's lips before the door of Mac's cell was banged shut. Mac waited till the lock clicked and then, as much as his hurt back would allow, he crawled to where Jack was desperately trying to stay upright. 

Mac reached with shaky hands and Jack felt cold to the touch, his skin almost freezing cold, but he was also shaking so hard Mac thought he would get out of his skin. 

“Jack, you okay? Gosh, I'm so stupid, you are not okay.” Mac winced in sympathy as he finally took in Jack's injuries. Jack was still naked. At least Mac had his pants on. There were very subtle tremors running through Jack's body and Mac wanted to offer comfort so bad. But it hurt to move and if he hugged Jack for warmth it would be hell on his wounds. 

It took a while for Jack to come back online, and Mac watched how long it took Jack to track his surroundings. Mac was aching all over for trying not to keel over and land on his injuries. It hurt enough without trying to have to peel himself off of the floor. 

The moment Jack's eyes landed on him, Mac mustered a weak smile for both his and Jack's sakes, but he could tell Jack saw right through it. 

“Hey. How are you feelin'?” 

“Just peachy.” 

“Why are you lookin' so worried? You just got whipped.” 

“I'm worried about you, Jack. How long does he have you? And why haven't we heard anything?” 

Jack shrugged and winced. 

“What is it? Your shoulder? A rib?”

“Look at ya', transforming yourself into me. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.” 

“Jack.” 

“How's your back?” 

“It's hurting. But Jack-” 

“I'm sorry.” 

“Jack, breathe.” Mac ordered softly, and it occurred to him that Jack was in such a vulnerable situation that he was starting to shut down and revert to guilt. 

“That's right, big guy, take one big breath, that's it. Then hold it. Now let it out. Don't stop.” 

Gradually Jack started breathing normally and his hand came in to pull Mac for a hug, but when he remembered about Mac's injuries, his face crumpled. 

Mac didn't know where it came from, but the strong feeling of wringing Kovacs' neck when he saw him next filled him all of a sudden. Maybe it had something to do with how broken and jumpy Jack looked and acted, and Mac's best guess was that Jack was tortured extensively to the point where Mac knew that if he asked Jack he wouldn't know exactly when he was taken. 

“Jack, you with me?” 

Mac's teeth chattered as he felt a draft coming in the room and whispering against his weeping back. The light trickle of blood down the split skin combined with the sting, draft and how cold it felt in the cell were driving Mac crazy. He bit his lip so hard that he drew blood. 

Jack raised his head, looking at Mac with glassy eyes, but then nodded and really, there wasn't anything Mac could tell him in these circumstances to reassure him. Fact was, Mac had no idea if anyone even noticed that he was taken. He estimated being held captive for almost twelve hours, so if the Phoenix was alerted by him not showing up for work, Riley would already be hacking all traffic cams and Boze would wear a hole in the floor from pacing in the War Room. 

What Mac was wondering other than the Phoenix finding him was Jack's kidnapping. If Mac knew that Jack was taken or even MIA, he would have led the search party himself. But something wasn't right. Why did no one mention that Jack was missing in the first place? Did Matty know? Did Oversight? Could they have tried to prevent a catastrophe by not telling him? Or was it deliberate? 

Whatever it was, Mac promised to himself that he would get to the bottom of it, Jack deserved as much. Witnessing and listening to what Kovacs was capable of (as well as feeling it on his own skin,  _ literally _ ) made Mac respect Jack even more for the decision to leave and hunt this monster. Once upon a time (Gosh, was it really six months ago?) Mac was mad, he was pissed that Jack left so readily to hunt down a ghost from his past, but after today Mac was going to have to reconsider the way he felt. Jack tried to tell him how dangerous Kovacs was and how much Jack did not want him around when they eventually got him. 

Mac sighed. Guess he learned in the end, much to Jack's dismay. But Mac didn't blame Jack for it. Kovacs was the only one to blame here. 

Jack shifted on the floor, groaning as the cold floor made connection with his butt and it was obvious he wanted to release the tension from his abused body. 

Mac winced as he tried to position Jack somewhere where he wasn't hurting, feeling more blood trickling down his back as he undoubtedly pulled at some of the skin even more. 

Jack seemed finally settled, even though he was cold to the touch and he was shaking. Mac suspected that Jack was running a mild fever on top of being tortured and obviously hosed down if the droplets of water were any indication. 

“Feeling better?” 

Jack laughed bitterly and then shook his head. 

“Only you could get your scrawny ass handed to you, but here you are asking me if I'm feeling okay.” 

“I'm mostly asking to see what you will respond to. I can tell you are not okay-” Mac yelped as he moved too suddenly and pulled one of the deepest lashes. 

“Shit, you shouldn't be moving around. Wish they could have at least left me with my clothes, it wouldn't have changed much, but clothes are clothes.” 

“They will probably find us soon. They must have figured out that I was taken by now. Don't worry.” 

Even to his ears, Mac knew that it sounded feeble at best, he still hung up to that minuscule thread of hope. He had to do it, for both his sake and Jack's. 

Jack reassured him so many times when they were in a dire situation, all Mac could do right now was to return the favor and be there for Jack. Be the partner Jack needed. Despite his own injuries and the pain.

Jack's eyes were fixated on Mac's chest, though. Probably on the lashes Kovacs' whip left. Mac could see the agony in Jack's eyes while he had to count the strikes, it would take a lot of convincing for Jack to understand that he wasn't at fault for what happened to Mac. 

“Jack, you have to hang on, okay? Whatever happens. Even if I have to get us out of here. Which I have no idea how to do, but just in case help isn't coming. I need you to do that. For me. Please?” 

“Okay, I will. I missed you so much.” 

Jack's face crumpled at those words and Mac felt tears running down his cheeks as well. 

“Missed you, too.” 

“You know what else I missed? You breakin' my phones. I think that this is the longest I've gone since you broke the last one. Even longer than while you were in Nigeria.” 

Jack's voice took a wistful tone and Mac felt a pang in his chest. They never really discussed the Nigeria retreat (more like escape). And Mac knew that they eventually would have had to do that. But Mac kept stalling, he wanted to redeem himself on his own terms and by the time he had gathered enough courage to talk with Jack, Kovacs happened. 

“I'm sorry. I don't think I ever properly apologized about Nigeria. I'm sorry I left.” 

Jack looked suddenly more alert and Mac cursed his mouth for running off. Now Jack would try to reassure him and tell him it wasn't his fault or how he understood why Mac did it. 

What Mac did not expect was for Jack to mutter a weak “thanks” before he settled further into the wall. 

“I know what you are thinking. And you are right. I'm over it, and I didn't need that apology, kid, but I'm glad you finally apologized. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't lean on me after Mexico. But I won't deny that I took pleasure in you returning home. Having you around again was the best. I feel selfish saying this, oh God.” 

“Jack, it's not selfish. It wasn't… I felt this huge gaping hole inside me ever since I left, but I didn't know what to do about it. It was too early to come back and as things progressed I guess I just wanted to… dunno, have a taste at how things could be different? I wanted a fresh start. And I got it. But I lost something very important in the process.” 

“You didn't lose us, Mac. We all understood why you left. Hell, I was this close to quitting myself.” 

“I'm glad you didn't. I'm not saying you should have to wait for me…” 

“I would always wait for you. No matter how long it takes.” 

“I wish I could hug you right now.” 

“Wow, that's a 360 turn right there. C'mere.” 

Mac looked up and he saw Jack had his arms open in invitation. 

“My back is-” 

“Leave that to me.” 

Mac finally let himself let go, Jack was there to catch him and hold him. Jack somehow positioned him so his wounds didn't touch the filthy floor or the wall and he was so careful Mac felt few involuntary tears escape him. Jack was always there for him, and amidst all the pain and hurting and regrets, mistakes made in the past, Jack was still somehow there for Mac, keeping him together, like glue. 

Jack always knew what Mac needed, and always gave it freely without asking anything in return.

Mac let himself sink in the comfort provided by his partner. 

…

There were voices and steps coming from the hall. Jack tried to shake himself from the semi comfortable state he was in. He was still naked and cold, but he had Mac dozing off in his embrace, Jack's hands on Mac's forearms because the kid's back was a mess and his front was making things feel ten times worse than they actually were. 

Mac was currently with his head buried in Jack's neck. Jack tightened his hold as much as he could without hurting Mac and prepared for the guards to come and take them again. They would have to go through him to get to Mac. 

Jack took a deep breath and adjusted Mac in his grip. He wasn't going to let anything more happen to him. 

The footsteps were now closer to the door and the key was turned in the lock. Jack got ready to attack. How, he wasn't sure himself, but he wasn't going down without a fight. He was done with just taking it. If it was just him, it wouldn't have mattered, but now he had Mac to take care of and protect. 

The door opened and several people entered the cell. 

…

Jack woke up in a hospital bed. He could tell that it was a hospital, the strong and distinctive smell of disinfectant and medicine permeating the air. He could tell he had a nasal cannula on his face and could feel the weight of a pulse oximeter on his finger. There was someone in the room, even while not fully awake, Jack was aware of the presence of someone in the close proximity to his bed. He had no recollection of how he got to a hospital or even who was there, but for some reason that Jack couldn't explain, it made him panic. 

Jack could hear the beeping of the monitor above his head, probably his heart rate spiking up while he panicked. And why was he aware of everything like this? 

“Jack, calm down. You are okay. You are back home, in LA. Safe.” 

It was… no, it couldn't be. 

“You need to come back to us from wherever it is your brain has you stuck at. It's been way too long without you, Jack. Come back to us.” 

There was a smaller hand fitting in Jack's bigger one and she squeezed. Jack was definitely not dreaming, he doubted his brain would be able to make her up or even her touch.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the too bright light. There was more shuffling around him and the lights were dimmed. Jack sent a silent thanks to whoever did that. He was finally able to see Matty clearly and he mustered up a little strength to squeeze her hand back. 

“Hey, Matty.” 

“Hey, Jack. Welcome home.” 

…

In the next couple of hours, Matty retold Jack the tale of how he and Mac were rescued from the secret compound Kovacs had on US soil. She confirmed to him that Kovacs used his private jet to transport Jack to Los Angeles, and that the last six months were a carefully crafted plan, a trap for Jack and they all fell in it. Right from the start, Jack was at a disadvantage and there was something to be said about how he was the one being hunted, while leading the hunt for one of the most prolific terrorists in the 21st century. Kovacs was cunning and manipulative and worse of all, very patient. He was biding his time, gathering intel and right when he wanted it, he got the drop on Jack. 

Jack felt only slightly better about the whole thing, at least he wasn't the one that made a mistake and revealed his whereabouts. He was to blame for what happened before, though, with Kovacs' son, and even though Jack only learned of it now, it still sent a stabbing pain through his heart. Mac paid the price for that little oversight from Jack's side. 

Matty told him a completely different story about the mission to track down and kill Kovacs years ago. She told him that when she tried to confirm Kovacs' story she hit a snag with the source of the intel, and after she threatened some very powerful forces up high in the chain, she got the full debrief of the operation. And learned that someone deliberately sent Jack and his team the intel of Kovacs' whereabouts that weren't just his, but his family's residence as well. Someone apparently wanted to send a message to Kovacs and meanwhile they left him alive on purpose. 

Matty told him that Kovacs' men took Mac while on his morning run and that they immediately started looking when no one saw Mac come to work.

Jack thanked her for her quick thinking and for not giving up. She told him that she was glad that they had him back and that it was definitely a surprise when Phoenix TAC found him at Kovacs' compound. 

“And let's not meet under those circumstances again, shall we?” 

“Agreed. Hey, Matty?” 

“Yes?” 

“You said it was a surprise… well, of course it would be, because I wasn't supposed to be back, yet, let alone being captured. What I want to know…” 

“What you want to know is if anyone reported you missing.” 

“Damn, Matty.” 

“Dalton, I'm wounded. Do you think I have lost my touch? And to answer your obvious question, they reported you missing, but someone from the higher ups told them not to look for you and that the mission was to proceed without further delay.” 

Jack kinda expected it, and knew it deep down, but for it to be confirmed, he couldn't say it didn't sting. It wasn't as much for the way it felt to be discarded like a piece of garbage as it was the moment Mac learned about his “supposed demise”. 

“Who gave the executive order?” 

Matty watched him with a blank stare and Jack knew he wasn't going to get an answer, but he had to try. 

“It was James, wasn't it?” 

“I can neither confirm nor deny-” 

“Yeah, I get it. Thank you, Matty. Thank you for saving my boy. And keeping him safe all this time. Not that I deserve to refer to him as my boy, but you know how I am.” 

“Yes, in fact I do, Jack. And if you think you can get away with talking like that about yourself, you are sorely mistaken.” 

“Matty…” 

“No, Jack! Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully. I probably should have said this before, but you know that's not usually my style. But I'm gonna say it anyway, because you need to get it into that thick skull of yours apparently, and I'll forgive you now for being slow on the uptake. You have a concussion after all.” 

“Matty, what are you talking about?” 

“I'm talking about you, Jack. I know Mac is the one with the abandonment issues and he is not quick to trust, but you are as bad as him, maybe even worse. You have to realize that you are important, too. We would never leave you no matter what. I don't want to be the one to have to tell Mac that you gave up on yourself even when everyone else still believes in you.” 

Matty was damn good. It was as if she opened his brain and pried out all of his thoughts, past and present and knew what Jack was thinking about while in captivity or how he was feeling most of the time. Which, seeing as who Matty was, it wasn't far off the mark. 

“And one more thing I really wish someone had already told you, but even if I'm the first one to do that then so be it. You have been as close to Mac as a father could be and you shouldn't think of yourself as undeserving of him and his love. He chose you, Jack. If he didn't want to, believe me you would have heard by now.” 

“Nice of you to say that, Matty. It doesn't change the fact that sometimes it feels like I fought too hard to stay in his life that he felt more obligation than anything else, and that I-” 

Jack managed to stop before he blurted more out, he already said too much, and he blamed the concussion and the fact that this time the torture hit too close to home and left Jack's tongue loose. 

“I get it. Believe me, I do. But you aren't doing yourself any favors if you think like this. Jack, you are one of the most important people in Mac's life. Don't doubt that or Mac's reasons why he still keeps you around. Sometimes even I wonder why, and then I see you two and I realize that I have been wrong to assume anything otherwise.”

“Stop, you are going to make me cry.” Jack tried for a chuckle, but his breath hitched and it transformed into a sob. 

“Jack, I want you to know that you are still welcome with us. You were and will be part of this team, this family forever. They all know why you left to hunt down Kovacs and believe me, they understand. Mac is the only one that doesn't, but I'll remedy that as soon as he is out of the treatment room.” 

“How long have I been out?” 

“Four hours. Don't worry, Mac is well taken care of and you need the rest. Because knowing you, you will be exercising your right to escape your room to be with him as soon as I'm out of here. Which, I won't stop you from doing. However, I expect you to have at least rested for some more hours before you go into a 'find my Mac' quest. You need it. Mac needs it, too. He will need his partner. And not just in the recovery process.” 

“I know that. And I will be there.”

“I know you will. Just making sure.” 

Matty was halfway through the room when Jack called out. 

“Matty? Thank you.” 

“Don't mention it.” 

She was already out of the door by the time Jack closed his eyes and dozed off. 

…

Mac's back was in agony. He wanted to scream and shout, and maybe cry and say a few words of choice. He wished he could have just skipped the treatment, and go on with the recovery, but he knew that was dangerous. More risk for an infection to fester in his wounds. Talking about infections, he was pretty sure he already had been infected. He was going between hot and cold, whenever he shivered, it pulled at his wounds, and him swearing didn't help matters at all. The salt from the drops of sweat touching his wounds was stinging and Mac had to control his breathing because it hurt so much, damn it. 

Mac couldn't properly relax from the second he was brought into Phoenix med. He knew why he and Jack were separated, Jack was hurt as well, and had to be treated as well. But he ached for Jack and the security his partner provided. He felt too vulnerable and out in the open. He couldn't see his surroundings, his back was to the door, literally now, and anyone could get in the room and could get the upper hand on Mac if they wanted to. 

He tried to adjust and have at least his head turned to the door to have a better view, but the smallest movement pulled at the skin on his back, over his wounds and they would start bleeding again every time Mac did this. 

He huffed a frustrated breath after one more nurse refused to give him information about Jack. Didn't they know they were partners? Haven't they seen Jack help Mac so many times before? Sitting by his bedside, being there for Mac. He was Jack's next of kin and power of attorney, and he hated to have to use it, but if they continued with this song and dance, they were going to get it. 

…

Mac vividly remembered the moment Phoenix TAC got into the room even though he was slightly feverish and comfy in Jack's embrace (as comfortable as one could be with their back in agony, but Jack had him in a protective embrace and Mac felt better about it). 

It was as if a switch was flipped and Jack immediately positioned Mac behind him and he was ready to attack. Mac regretted that he relaxed so much with Jack around that he didn't notice Jack had spiraled himself. The commotion and the voices yelling at Jack to back off and stop were enough to rouse Mac from his slumber just in time to see Jack lunge at one of the agents and tackle him, taking his weapon and knocking him unconscious. The other two had their guns trained on him, but there was nothing that could stop Jack when he was in protector mode. The only way out was Mac being the voice of reason. He didn't know this team, they were probably new so they didn't know Jack and they could have easily killed him if they decided to fire their rifles. And Mac couldn't have that. 

Mac had a few moments to smirk triumphantly because they would get their asses reamed (at least the agent down) by a naked man armed with nothing but his fists (and if Mac had a say in it, his heart) before he jumped into action. 

He moved slowly in front of Jack and talked to him in a soft voice, and luckily Jack listened to him and dropped the rifle. Mac then proceeded to explain to the TAC team who Jack was and they reported to Matty immediately and Mac was relieved to know that it was all over. Kovacs was taken in custody, and they were en route to Phoenix Med. It turned out that he didn't keep them far away from the city so the team was able to locate them quickly. 

Jack had to be sedated when he had one more episode of lashing out at everyone because he couldn't see Mac and despite Mac insisting they needed to let him talk Jack down from it, he wasn't allowed. Mac hadn't seen Jack since then and despite asking the nurses about his partner, he was told to not worry and to focus on his recovery first and frankly Mac was tired and beyond the frayed edge of his rope. The next person that was going to enter his room was in for a treat. 

…

Mac could hear soft, silent footsteps in the hall and they approached his room. He took a deep breath and exhaled right before the door was opened and someone got inside. 

“I'll stop you right there with whatever you want to say. He is awake and I'm sure he is plotting his prison break the moment I left his room.” 

Mac could cry with relief. 

_ Matty _ . 

She approached the bed and dragged the chair across the room to where Mac was positioned. He was still on the good stuff, but he managed to dial it down today. He hated how they made him loopy and sleepy and when he was awake enough to get through it, they made him paranoid.

“They wouldn't tell me anything about Jack. I keep asking, but no one… Matty, is he really okay? I am worried about him.” 

“He is. He was being sedated until a couple of hours ago, but he should be okay to go without it now. That's precisely what I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“Okay?” 

“Well, not just about Jack and them not disclosing any information, but mostly it is that and the Kovacs mission, past and present. They all have a common denominator. James MacGyver.” 

…

Mac couldn't believe what he was hearing. His father's name always made him feel uneasy. He never knew what to expect when his father was in question. First he was gone for eighteen years, then it turned out he wasn't really, steering Mac's life from the shadows and as his boss. Nowadays he was still controlling Mac's life. He was more invested in the missions all of a sudden, trying to subvert the attention to missions that were low risk, and Mac started to feel it. It was as if a switch had been flipped in Jack's wake. Almost like his father waited for Jack to accept the offer to run the task force that was supposed to capture Kovacs and then he got free reign to do what he wanted; just y'know more openly now. He claimed that he wanted to change things, to repair their relationship, but for every time Mac tried to reason with himself and possibly, maybe, giving him a chance, James did or said something that didn't give Mac much to work with. 

Mac started to think that everything was sort of a power game with his father, and sadly he got too invested in how to control people's lives that he forgot it was a living, breathing human being behind the person he wanted Mac to be. The more Mac thought about it, the more he realized that he was right. 

“What about my father, Matty?” 

Matty seemed uncomfortable, like she was gearing up to tell him bad news, and Mac thought that he could go without them, but forced himself to pay attention. Clearly, it was important. 

“He was the one that had ordered the nurses and doctors to not tell you about Jack.” 

“He WHAT?!“ Mac could hear himself yell, the sound of his own voice deafening in his ears. 

“Calm down and lower your voice before these tattletales come and report to James I'm here, okay?” 

Mac made a distressed sound in the back of his throat and he could see Matty move to the bed and come closer to where Mac's head was resting. 

“Sorry Mac. I didn't mean to yell myself. Are you okay?” 

Mac nodded and he winced as it pulled on the knots he developed in his neck and shoulders from the position he was in.

“Yeah, go on. I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around it.” 

“It's okay, Mac. I should have probably led with something else first. There is a lot I need to tell you. And I needed you and Jack more or less coherent for it.”

…

Mac wanted for the earth to open whole and swallow him. He was shaking with rage and wanted to punch something, or preferably someone, no matter that he was his dad. Matty managed to calm him down enough so he didn't set off the alarms on the monitor, but she couldn't stop the silent tremors running through his body at the thought of what his father was capable of. He was seething and bit the inside of his cheek so hard it bled. Otherwise, if he opened his mouth, he couldn't guarantee what his reaction would have been.

From having his hands in providing Kovacs' address to Jack's team, leading to the death of Kovacs' son ten years ago back to present day and practically blackmailing Jack to accept the mission. Binding Jack with the “classified” in the file to not being able to tell Mac about it. And Mac knew that as much as Jack argued about him being a self sacrificing idiot, Jack was as much if not more. 

Mac had to reign in the rage he felt once those words left Matty's lips. She said that she was tired of being James' pawn and that she was done being roped in into his machinations and grand plans. Mac finally had the confirmation that he wasn't making things up and that his father had a lot to do with what Mac already suspected. 

Mac could feel the drag of sleep, the longer he blinked, the heavier his eyes became. Matty was there, still keeping watch, but they were both aware it was someone else Mac needed by his bedside. Maybe now more than ever. He had to see Jack and tell him that he knew, and that he was sorry James played them both. He needed Jack's calming presence and his comfort. 

Right before he fell asleep, Matty kissed him on the forehead and for a second Mac pretended it was his mom. 

In the morning when he woke up he saw the morphine dial up to the last dash and he shook his head. Matty and her being a sneaky spy. And then his heart did a weird flip when he saw a cot next to his bed, Jack lying half in it, and the other half being on Mac's bed, head propped on his forearms. Jack was snoring, but Mac found it oddly comforting. 

Mac had no idea how he knew, but he was sure this was Matty's doing. He opted out of waking Jack up, they could both use the rest. So Mac closed his eyes and tried to relax as much as he could. With Jack being around, everything was bearable. 

…

***A week later***

Mac could feel the prickling sensation on the back of his neck. He was too aware of other sensations once he got more coherent after he was taken off of the morphine. But this time it had to do with someone watching him. 

Mac had to adjust every day to the crippling feeling of being unable to look over his back and relying on others to watch his back, mostly Jack, literally, so Mac would feel safer. Anyone could sneak in and being left in a vulnerable position made him feel trapped. 

Mac was told that he suffered nerve damage shortly after he woke up the first time. The doc on shift was a former Army doctor and had suspected the nerve damage because of the position Mac was in according to the report. After all the tests and poking and prodding, he finally concluded that Mac had limited mobility of 50-60% and he promised Mac to monitor for further issues he could possibly have like tingling, spasms, and momentarily losing complete movement in his arms. Mac had a lengthy recovery in front of him, months and months of physical therapy and treating of the wounds. He already dreaded it, and what followed with the nerve damage. Even before he discussed it with Matty, he knew it. His career was over. Oddly, he didn't have the reaction he expected, he took it as calmly as possible. He was tired, he was done and in light of the new information Matty told him about his father, he really decided to quit even before he was told about the nerve damage. 

The pickling sensation on the back of his neck intensified, and it made Mac feel uneasy. His wounds were uncovered so his back was totally on display, and the already vulnerable position he was in left him with an even bigger feeling of dread in his gut. He knew who it was even before he entered the room and circled the bed, just like vultures circle their prey. 

( **_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_ **

**_Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface_ ** )

"Seeing it in real life isn't like in a report somewhere now, is it?" 

Msc could hear his father stop at the foot of the bed and halt in his steps. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means that you have never showed up to see the wounds yourself." 

"I didn't think it was required of me to come and visit. You already had someone with you at all times." 

"Yeah, right. It's being four and falling from the tree all over again. My fault, my wounds, I don't get to be coddled. I get it." 

"Where did this come from, Angus? I don't like the tone of your voice." 

"It's the way I always talk, dad. And do not call me Angus!" 

"It's your name, son. Don't expect me to call you something that resembles a dog nickname." 

"Are we going to argue about my name or are you going to tell me why you came to visit me?" 

"I just came to see how you were doing. Is there supposed to be a reason to do that?" 

"With you, always." 

( **_Don't know what you're expecting of m_ ** e)

Mac was aware that sarcasm dripped from his voice. It was his coping mechanism, and he knew that he should have toned it down, his father wasn't tolerating of that, but he was tired, hurting and was about done with acting like his father wanted.

“I know what you are trying to say, Angus, and I don't appreciate what you are implying. All I've ever done, I did it for you.” 

( **_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_ ** )

Mac closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, counted to ten and released it. 

“Oh, really? Then how come I can't see that?” 

Mac was unnerved by the way his dad didn't even come to face him, choosing to stay out of Mac's line of sight, setting off Mac's anxiety and adding to his uneasiness with people sneaking up on him, now that he was in a situation with his back turned to the door. 

“Angus, where does this come from?” 

“It comes from you always looking out for yourself first.” 

“What-” 

“It comes from always putting yourself front and center and we have to do things for you, just so you can feel better and say that you saved the day. To feel better. But that's okay. I forgive you if forgiveness is all you want.” 

Mac groaned as a particular painful tug at the skin of one of his wounds pulled as his back started tingling. 

“But if for one second you think that I will forget you are sorely mistaken.” 

Mac couldn't see his father while he was lying on his front, but he could tell when James startled and huffed a breath. Probably because he was always used to things going his way, controlling Mac, “steering” him in the direction James always wanted for him. 

_ Truth hurts _ , Mac said to himself in a snide voice. 

“I don't know where you got the idea that all I do is for fulfilling my own agenda and not caring about you, but it's you who's mistaken, son.” 

“I don't know about that. Whenever I ask you about the real reason you left, you come up with another reason and I know that you are trying to placate me. News flash, I am not ten anymore.” 

“I already told you it was to protect you. Why are you still so hung up about it? If it was Dalton here saying that, you would believe it in a heartbeat and wouldn't question him as much.” 

( **_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_ ** )

Mac closed his eyes and bit his lip. The tamped down flame of rage was spreading again. Apparently his dad still had the guts to act like he was right for what he did. 

“Actually, I would ask. But the difference between you and him is that I trust him to tell me the truth. He always has and I am grateful for it. You on the other hand not so much.” 

Mac wanted to turn and look his father in the eyes and to tell him everything he had let fester over the years. He already started stripping his soul raw and his inhibitions were lowered by the meds and his already fried nerves. 

“You trust the man that left you for a mission? Don't you think that you should learn by now?” 

**_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow_ ** )

“Oh, I have, believe me. I learned just what I needed to learn.” 

Of course Mac meant a couple of things with it, like James not sticking around because he chose not to, controlling Mac's life from the shadows, and ultimately what he learned from Matty about the Kovacs mission. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Anyway, where is Dalton? I hoped to be able to talk to him. I was told he was allowed in here despite my recommendations.” 

“He is right where he is supposed to be.” Jack's voice came from the door and Mac smirked inwardly at the step back James took when he saw that Jack was indeed there.

“You know, some of us aren't superhuman. We need time to heal. I was in PT. What do you need me for, boss?” 

Mac could tell that Jack was being sarcastic on purpose, to annoy James and Mac wasn't going to stop him. 

“I don't like the way you talk with me, Dalton. But I'll let it slide now, because I don't want to agitate my son. I have a feeling he will chop my head off if I say something against you right now… although, what I'm about to say may elicit that reaction as well.” 

Mac heard Jack's footsteps closer and then Jack perched on the bed next to Mac and Mac was grateful that Jack seemed to know he needed to be actually looked in the eye for once. 

“There is going to be an official reprimand to your record. About the mission and disclosing classified information to a party not privy to the details of the mission.” 

Mac's blood froze. Surely his father wouldn't have known just from what Mac implied earlier. Would he? 

“Official reprimand? Well, that's actually nice. I expected the boot, but hey, I'll take it whatever it is, just to get out of that mess.” 

_ And wait… what? Why wasn't Jack fighting James on how things actually happened?  _

“Wait, wait, back up. Why is Jack getting a reprimand?” 

“He attacked an agent. And kept help from getting to you which could have ended with worse consequences if he wasn't contained.” 

“Jack, help me up, please?” 

“Mac, what-” 

“Jack. Please.” 

Jack shook his head even as he helped Mac to a sitting position and carefully turned Mac around. 

“What the hell are you doing, Dalton? My son needs to heal and you are-” 

“I asked him to help me sit up, because you are obviously not man enough to come and look me in the eyes, dad.” 

James actually looked affronted and Mac was done with listening to whatever he had to say next. 

“You have to get your facts in check. Because he attacked that agent because he tried to protect me. He thought they were Kovacs' men and he went at them with nothing so much as a weapon except his hands and body. He was injured, too, dad.” 

“That doesn't change the fact that he almost killed the guy.” 

“Give me a break. He ended up with some scrapes and bruises and mildly dislocated jaw. He said that he wouldn't press charges.” 

Mac held his ground. He wouldn't let Jack take the fall for something that was out of his control. 

“Hoss, maybe you should lie down, huh? I don't know if it's good for you to sit for longer than a few minutes.”_

“I'd listen to him if I were you, Angus.”

“Jack, I won't let him make you a scapegoat. I'm fine. I will tell you if I'm not.” 

“I'm just doing what's right. He made a mistake, and he gets to pay for it.” 

“He didn't tell me about the blackmail, though.” Mac switched gears so fast he was sure his father suffered from whiplash. “No matter what you think, it wasn't him.”

“It was necessary for Dalton to be the one to finish what he screwed up ten years ago.” 

Mac could feel Jack tense next to him, and it unnerved him that Jack was so passive about everything. Mac suspected why, and he wished he could tell Jack to not hold himself on Mac's account. 

“You mean what you screwed up.” 

James inhaled sharply and Jack gasped. 

“Yeah, I know about that, too. I think you should tell Jack yourself. That what you are blaming him for is nothing more than your decision and your doing. Just like it was six months ago, ten years ago was the direct result of you and your decisions.” 

“Angus, tell me right now, who gave you that information?! I will have their ass marched to court. That's classified information, and you of all people are the last that should know about it.” 

“Then have us both court martialed as well, dad. But that doesn't change the fact that your decision ten years ago helped shape things up now. Kovacs wasn't eliminated as you all thought. Jack was being hunted for fuck's sake, just because Kovacs wanted to exact revenge on him.” 

“By taking you and torturing you. One more thing to attribute to what's Dalton's fault.”

“You are missing the point, dad.” 

Mac could feel a headache incoming, he pinched the bridge of his nose to try and stave it off. He wasn't completely healed from the infection, and he could feel light tremors in his right hand. He kept that one close in his lap. The last he needed was for his father to notice that. He wasn't ready to share the news about the nerve damage with him, yet. 

“Dad, why are you really here? I think we established that there's something else.” 

“I said all I had to say. You are the one who can't move on, Angus. You are the one that grasps at small things that mean nothing, but you want to make big things out of them.” 

“Oh, so controlling your son to the point you removed me from his life by blackmailing me doesn't mean a thing, right?” 

There was fire in Jack's voice that wasn't there before and Mac knew it was about to get more heated. And Mac didn't want James to gather more things he would want to use against Jack. 

“Watch your mouth, Dalton. I can easily have you fired if you keep talking.” 

Mac could swear he heard Jack mutter “see if I care”. 

“I just hope that you know who exactly are you letting back into your life, Angus.”

“I know that very well. Unlike you.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you are so self centered that you fail to see that it's you who doesn't know.”

“Angus.”

“I already told you I forgive you. There's nothing else that we need to discuss about who I let into my life. You made the choice to leave, and I have a feeling that you wouldn't have shown your face hadn't I come to your house to quit, so save yourself from denying it. Today just proves that.” 

“I don't look forward to fighting over this anymore today. I will come by another day to discuss the terms of your return to the Phoenix.”

For some reason, what James just said hit Mac harder than the doc telling him the news about the nerve damage. 

“Excuse me, whose return?” it was Jack who asked now and Mac could feel the rage and anger come back full force.

“My son, Dalton. I expect you to have more information about when you can come back to work. We are a bit time bound because of the last couple of weeks.” 

So his dad didn't know. 

“Fuck you!” it felt like something exploded right next to Mac and he reached to contain Jack from doing something that could get him fired. His right hand shot up to hold Jack back, and it chose that moment to spasm and Mac yelped. 

Jack turned to face him immediately, his rage induced fit forgotten. 

“Mac, what's wrong? Where are you hurting?” 

“Spasm. Fuck, it hurts.” 

“Is that normal? What did the doc say?”

“That it could happen at any time and without predicting it.” 

“Maybe I should help you back to bed and then call him to check you over?”

“Nah, I'll be okay.” 

Mac could feel his father boring holes into him while Jack talked to him soothingly as Mac rode the wave of pain. 

When it was finally over, Mac exhaled in relief. 

“What was that?” 

“That is something that I waited to tell you because it's not definite, but most probably I face the rest of my life to be spent with limited mobility of my arms and hands and what you just witnessed.” 

“We'll look into treatments to get you fixed. I expect you to talk with your doctor to give you an estimate when you can return to work.”

It was as if James didn't hear any of what Mac said, or he didn't care. And before Mac was able to stop Jack this time, there was blood gushing from his dad's broken nose and Jack was shaking his hand and wincing. 

His dad was coughing and blinking back tears, but still managed to look threatening as he screamed that Jack was fired and done with. 

Jack's exhale of relief was mirrored with Mac's. 

“You okay, bud?” 

“I'll be.”

Mac managed a tiny smile and as he let Jack help him back to his front, Jack returned the smile. 

…

**_Crossing off one more week on the list._ **

**_Just another day at the office._ **

Mac was sound asleep when Jack entered the room. He came back to Mac's room right after his meeting with Matty. The things happening last week started a whole chain of events and while Jack could go without the whole bureaucratic bullshit, he had to go through an official debriefing about the Kovacs mission and what happened when he and Mac were kidnapped and tortured. He explained everything in great detail and after the excruciatingly long questioning, he was cleared and the mission was declared completed and closed. 

Jack went to visit the agent he accidentally hurt and even though the guy was chill about it all, Jack still felt the need to take that thing off his chest. 

Matty handed him the retirement papers, both his and Mac's. Mac's were with full disability pension, and Jack's were regular retirement papers. Jack had already signed his, he was supposed to bring the other ones to Mac so he could sign them as well. Once they were signed, Jack was going to take them to Matty, and Matty would put an end to the process. They were one signature away from being retired and then they wouldn't be affiliated with the Phoenix Foundation anymore. 

It wasn't easy to come to terms with it, but it was necessary for both of them. Jack knew that he would follow Mac everywhere, no matter what. 

Luckily Jack didn't have to quit or be fired. Matty started the things for James to be taken from the Oversight position right after she told Mac about what happened with the mission, and by the time Jack punched James, she had the whole machinery running, and things were in motion. 

Jack let himself in Mac's room as quietly as possible. Mac was still asleep, and Jack was thankful because last night was riddled with nightmares and it took awhile for Jack to calm him down.

The doctor was optimistic about the healing process and said that if things continued to improve that he would close the wounds with bandages. 

Jack's heart ached. He wanted to hold his kid in his embrace, but he couldn't. The best he could do without aggravating his wounds was to just offer a soft and light touch on the side of Mac's neck and running his fingers through blond strands. 

Mac didn't seem to mind, though, because he chased the touch even in sleep. Jack chuckled. As much as he liked to think of his partner as a golden retriever puppy, Mac certainly resembled a cat sometimes. 

There was a long road before them, but they had each other to lean on and help the other. Jack was going to be there for Mac every step of the way in his recovery. He was back home where he belonged. 

As Mac sank deeper into sleep, Jack settled the paperwork aside. 

“Welcome to the first day of your life, buddy.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> That's all folks!  
> Thoughts?


End file.
